How Divorce Affects Children with Special Needs and the Ways to Help Them
The divorce process rarely leads to a quick and trouble-free solution. And when parents of a child with special needs face a divorce, many difficulties are added to the “standard” process. These difficulties primarily relate to child support, the separation of assets and the additional costs of maintaining a child. And in fact, these are the smallest difficulties, because the biggest is how the divorce will affect the child’s physical and mental well being.
Everyone understands that divorce can be a serious psychological trauma for many children. But what about those who require special care? It means that parents will need to make even more efforts so that divorce does not affect their special child.
What You Need to Do When Getting Divorced
Here you will find recommendations that you need to follow in order not to miss important points and documents during the divorce process. It is difficult to maintain a clear mind when your life before the divorce had some difficulties. But still, a clear mind should be present in the parents of children with special needs during a divorce.
Together with your spouse, work out a plan for raising a child. It should reflect the needs of the child and desires. If you cannot reach a mutual agreement, then everyone can create their own plan. And then put together one from it, which will suit everyone. But remember, you must put the interests and needs of the child first. It does not seem difficult, but you have to work together on this issue. If it is too difficult, you can ask for help from professionals in this area.
A “Medical needs” plan. This has to be discussed, including who will take the child to any appointments and who will care for the child in the event of illness.
Plan your financial needs. These needs should cover not only current expenses but the costs needed during and after the trial. It is also worth considering such a plan when reaching the age of eighteen. Examine the issue of state support when your child reaches the age of 18 and retain the right to receive benefits. If you have disputes with your spouse precisely on this basis, then you can invite a lawyer to spend the whole day with you and the child. Thus, he or she will have a complete picture of the needs and it will be easier for him or her to conduct the case, as he or she will understand the validity of financial requests and alimony.
Consider making a plan in case of the death of one of you. Write a letter of instruction for the guardian to reflect all the important points in care, needs and education. Such a letter should contain information about medical institutions, contacts of specialists who work with the child, as well as financial support for the child. It is worth revising such a plan annually, as the needs and contacts of specialists can change, and this data should be relevant.
Three Important Tips from A Psychologist
It will not be out of place if, with the start of the trial, or even before the final decision on divorce, you take care of psychological assistance. Such help will be needed not only for your child but also for you. Psychological assistance will help you not to break down, because, in addition to divorce, you have a lot of stress. Moreover, you can consult on how not to harm your child with a divorce. Below you can find the three main tips that you need to work on right now to complete divorce with OnlineDivorcer softly.
Do Not Talk About Divorce in the Presence of a Child
Preparing a child for new changes in life must begin in advance so you should not expose him or her to excessive emotional stress. Moreover, you should not vehemently discuss the issue of custody and alimony with the child, so you can create a child’s guilt. Solve all your questions away from the presence of the child. Even when your child knows about divorce, this does not mean that he needs to look at disputes or quarrels. You must act so as not to cause a sensation of change in the familiar environment of the child.
If You Decide to Explain the Divorce, Then Do It Right
Many may believe that a child with special needs is not able to understand some things and simply stop explaining anything. But the parents of such children know that this is a mistaken opinion, which means that you need to be able to explain it in an accessible way. The way you will explain to the child why you are getting a divorce and what is changing, will shape his perception of the divorce. You must do this so that the child understands that he is not in danger. If you speak to your child with tears in your eyes and a red nose that nothing will change, then emotional trauma cannot be avoided. Therefore, you have to convince yourself that your life will only get better, and then explain it to the child.
Do Not Create a Negative Image of a Former Spouse to a Child
Again, it is not necessary to show your negative attitude towards the ex in the presence of a child, even if you do not get the help you want from an ex or the divorce settlement did not give you what you wanted. The child will feel emotional stress and over time, may develop emotional discomfort due to the presence of the second parent. This can happen even regardless of love and a good relationship from the spouse to the child.
Children with special needs really feel emotions, so you need to learn to control your emotional state, even if you do not express your feelings visually. If at first the presence of your ex-spouse is hard for you, try to entertain your thoughts with something else or sit down to read a book next to your child and spouse. If you need to leave the room, you can occasionally but try not to. Otherwise, the child will begin to think that one parent is replacing another.